Hillary Clinton: The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend of the Democratic Party

Psycho Hillary Clinton

Wil Wheaton, the actor infamous for the hideous sweaters he was forced to wear as the annoyingly smug Wesley Crusher on the Starship Enterprise (and incidentally his brilliant performance in Stand By Me) has for many years written an excellent blog full of his experiences of life, humour and observations.

One of his recent posts made me smile, here in the UK we are preoccupied with the self destruction of the government under the leadership of Gordon the Moron, but the US is also having it’s own problems deciding who will be their next leader. Whilst am I not convinced by Barack Obama’s particular brand of evangelism it is clear baring divine intervention that he has won the right to stand against John McCain. Hillary Clinton should admit defeat and stand aside. As Wil writes

The thing about all of this is that, with a Clinton victory in the primary about as likely as jumping off the roof of your house and landing on the moon, it’s become clear that this whole thing isn’t about Democrats or beating McCain (who is inexplicably running for Bush’s third term) or saving our country from the catastrophic failure of the Bush years. No, it’s all about her. It’s about her ego. It’s about refusing to admit that she did her best, but voters (except those encouraged by Rush Limbaugh to cross party lines and f**k with our primary) have pretty clearly said “No thanks. You’re a good senator, but we want something different now.”

It’s been crystal clear for weeks, yet she refuses to put party and country over personal ambition and drop out of the race, forcing Barack Obama to not only run against McCain and the Media, but also against her. It’s particularly galling, because she can only win if her campaign can force Democratic superdelegates (one of the worst creations in the history of politics) to tell millions of Democratic voters — many of them first time voters who, like me, finally feel truly inspired by someone — to go f**k themselves.

He also mentions and links to this wonderful parody on madatoms.com which compares Hillary to a psycho ex-girlfriend

It’s 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees “Hillary” on the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing “END” and not dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the Democratic Party knows that if it doesn’t take this call, another one is only minutes away.

DEMS: …Hello?

Hillary: Hey baby.

DEMS: C’mon Hillary. Enough with this.

Hillary: Don’t you get it? You NEED me.

DEMS: No, I don’t. It was fun while it lasted but I’m with Barack now. I made my choice, it’s done.

Hillary: You can’t really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?

DEMS: To be honest, I started hanging out with you because Bill’s pretty awesome.

Hillary: But I’m just like Bill!

DEMS: No, you’re not. Bill is charismatic, inspiring, and gets me really good weed.

Hillary: F**k you. You’re elitist!

DEMS: I’m going back to sleep.

Hillary: No, no, wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Listen… there’s still got to be a chance. Remember when people told George W it was all over. When the numbers were against him?

DEMS: Yeah but…

Hillary: Remember?! And remember how everyone said America didn’t really want to be with George W? But they stuck it out anyway?

DEMS: Yeah and they’re really f**ked up now, Hillary.

Hillary: But WE’LL make it work. Forget Barack, baby. Just take me back and we can forget this ever happened.

DEMS: Look, I think you’re a really good Senator… let’s just keep it that way, OK?

Hillary: …I’ll see you at the convention.

DEMS: No! Hillary I told you…

CLICK

DEMS: Dammit. Crazy bitch.